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“Hey, Art,” said Alfred, filling a Styrofoam cup with the cheap coffee for which the teacher’s lounge was infamous. “How ya doin’? Heard you weren’t feelin’ well this weekend.”

“Fine, actually,” the blond English teacher replied, lounging with his feet on one chair and his head resting tiredly on the back of another one. “Mostly tired.”

“Second period students wipe ya out?”

Yes. The worst. Just holding out for the last period of the day, at this point.”

“I feel ya.” Alfred came over and yanked the chair out from under Arthur’s feet, spun it around and straddled the back of it, muscling through a drink of the acidic coffee. Arthur let off a disgruntled sigh and sat straight. “Tea again, I see.”

“Coffee again, I see,” Arthur mocked, taking a sip of his own drink.

“I can’t understand why you drink that stuff.”

“Me? You do realize you are the only one here who drinks the coffee.”

“Not true. Beilschmidt drinks it, too. Both of ‘em, actually.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, looking up at the clock. As he did so, the left side of his neck was bared to Alfred’s eyes. A light, reddish-purple blotch tarnished the Englishman’s pale skin, just above the crisp collar of his shirt.

“Um…Artie, what happened to your neck?”


“Right there,” said Alfred, prodding the bruise. Arthur yelped and clutched a hand over the mark, green eyes growing wide and frantic.

“I-I have no idea,” he stuttered. “Why would you poke it? Idiot!”

“Do not call me an idiot,” Alfred seethed.

“Sorry,” Arthur mumbled, cheeks turning pink. He rubbed the mark worriedly.

Suspicion glinted in Alfred’s eyes. “Arthur, do you have a girlfriend?”

“What? I—“

“Dude, I know what a hickey looks like. Gave enough of ‘em when I was in high school, let me tell you what.”

“A what?”

“Hickey. Love bite. Come on, man, you’re such a virgin,” joked the honey blond. “I mean…unless you’re not anymore.”

Arthur’s cheeks flushed shades darker and he cast his eyes to the ground.

“Oh my god! You lost your virginity to this girl and you never even told me you were together? Who is it?” Alfred asked with bright curiosity, practically hugging the back of the seat he was in. “Oh my god, you’re not a virgin anymore. You guys, Arthur finally got laid!”

“Shhh-sh!” Arthur shushed, ducking his head from the interested stares of the other teachers. “None of your bloody business!”

Everyone else went back to their previous conversations, but Alfred kept at it. “Tell me who, tell me who, tell me who! Augh, I’m so glad you finally have a life…tell me what strange woman is dumb enough to bang you!”

“I resent that!”

“You’re dodging the question, who is it?”

“I, um…”


“See, I said you’d be better before school tomorrow,” you purred, kissing his neck as he moaned wantonly, holding tightly to you.

“Yes, and I need to teach tomorrow, and it’s late, and I should take you home and get to bed.”

“No worries, I’ll just ‘go to school with my friend,’ my parents won’t mind.”

You nipped at his collarbone and he whimpered, half-heartedly pushing you away. “No, I mean I need sleep!”

“You’ll be sleeping like a baby when I’m done with you tonight.” Your teeth tugged on his ear lobe, breath skidding over his sensitive skin, and he let out a shaking whimper, head thudding against the wall in defeat.

“Right, fine, make it quick,” he said.

“Uh-huh, sure.” Your lips fell to his neck again and you started to suck, drawing escalating moans from his kiss-swollen lips. You parted your lips more, taking some skin between your teeth, and sucked harder.

“Ow!” He jerked his neck away and clapped a hand to the bite, where you could already see it discoloring. “It’s not visible, is it?”

“Uh, nope.”


“Come on, tell me! Do I know her?”

“Wha—I um.” He cleared his throat nervously. “You might. She’s, ah, she’s clever. And ah…nice…”

“She hot?”

“I…yes. Very.”

“Well what’s her name?”

“Hey, Mr. K,” you called from the door, casually walking in like you owned the place.

“What are you doing in here?” Mr. Jones questioned. “You’re a student.”

“Chill, Mr. Jones. Cam in for something warm to drink,” you explained, helping yourself. “If you think I’m gonna keep drinking this school’s spoiled excuse for milk when this is an option, you’re insane.”

“Well it isn’t an option,” Mr. Jones emphasized, giving the suddenly-tense Mr. Kirkland a meaningful look. “She do this often?”

“She-she’s…my uh, best student,” he explained. You bit back a giggle when his voice cracked. “You know how that is…not supposed to have a favorite but you do anyway, hah…”

“Is that so?”

Silence fell when the question was asked and you thought it best to get your ass out of there.

The clock ticked loudly and Arthur poked holes in the top of his cup, not daring to look at his coworker.

“Arthur, you cannot have an intimate relationship with a student,” he whispered harshly. “It is illegal, it is immoral, and you can go to jail—you fucked a student, Arthur! I can’t believe you would be so reckless. And you call me the idiot.”

“No one’s found out!”

“Well, yeah, except me! I’m not stupid and neither is anyone else. You’re just lucky I’m not Ludwig or Vash, because otherwise you’d be out of a job.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone.”

“No. I’m not. Because you are breaking up with her.”

Arthur sighed, conflicted. “She’s the best thing that’s happened to me in years, Alfred—“

“Oh my god! Just stop! If you don’t take care of this by tomorrow, I’ll—“

“You’ll what, snitch on me? Grow up, Alfred. I am a grown man—“

“And she’s a fucking minor!” He had to choke of into a whisper last-minute to avoid unwanted nosiness, just now realizing he had been raising his voice. “You’re fucking sick!”

“How is it sick if it’s consensual? Look, she came on to me--

“Of course she did, Arthur. You’re young, you’re handsome, you’re smart; tons of students have a crush on you. But you do not act on it! You’re not supposed to  acknowledge it!”

Arthur’s eyes begged Alfred to just leave him well-enough alone, and Alfred sighed. “Fine. Whatever, I’m not gonna tell anyone, but I’m not covering for you if someone else finds out. Keep her in line.”

“Easier said,” Arthur mumbled with a relieved slump of the shoulders.

There was a period of silence in which Arthur regarded the clock again. Five minutes until the next class.

“So I wouldn’t ask you the stupid question, but considering you’ve already proven yourself an idiot--

“Please, Alfred, what is the ‘stupid question’?”

“You used protection, right?”

Arthur suddenly felt sick.

“Arthur I should fucking murder you.”

“S-she initiated—I was completely taken by surprise the first  time, I assumed she-she had taken…necessary precautions…”

“Taken by surprise? What the hell does that even mean?” Alfred sighed in exasperation, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “You…are…so—“

“Don’t say it! Okay? Do not say it!”

“You do realize that if you got her pregnant I couldn’t cover for you even if I wanted, right?”

“Sh-she isn’t pregnant!”

“Make sure of it.”

You were a bit startled by the very blunt question on the back of your graded English test:

“You’d tell me if you were pregnant, right?”

You masked the sudden shock with a coughing fit. “Mr. Kirkland, can I talk to you about my uh…test?”

He came to your desk in an instant and you pointed at the red-penned question before flipping the paper. “Ah, yes…that. You…would say yes, correct?”


“Good. Right. And…uh…your answer to the follow-up question, of course, is…”

“Well, I’m not positive in my result, Mr. Kirkland,” you said, hoping he would get the message.

“You’re not…positive.


“Oh, well…good, you—you got it correct, so it seems there is no problem.”

He walked away flushed and relieved. You made a mental note to take more care in future escapades.
"Take off your clothes, take off your clothes"
That's what she said
"Take off your clothes, take off your clothes
and come to bed
I got my needs
and I don't need sleep
Take off your clothes, take off your clothes
and come to bed!"
It used to be just me
But that's how 1 + 1 = 3


So I couldn't help myself, I had to write this one after [link] and I'm just in a "SUBMIT EVERYTHING" mood right now.
Soon as I finish my homework I'll start typing up the next chapter of the Jareth x Reader.

YEAH There's trouble, my friend. Trouble right here in River City. Trouble with a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! *shot*
And here we see a more realistic side of this relationship, complete with pregnancy scares and blown secrets! I don't know if I'll continue on with this, I just might. But don't expect a pregnancy fic from me.
Also, as you might have guessed, I'm officially disconnecting this reader from the reader in my Mr. Jones chapters ( [link] [link] [link] ). They're not the same person, obviously. I mean if you want it to be, by all means, twist it around a little; but officially, they're different readers.

Previous related one-shots: [link] [link] [link]
Add a Comment:
ePixr Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If only this Alfred know the one from your other fics XD
IzzySenpai Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2015
The answering way was so clever Clap 
RoseMaylieGottschalk Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank goodness...
rerete Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2015
I loved this. It was cute.
kokomu Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
america is out of character Angry 
Tamy1976 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 3, 2015
Sorta... But I guess anyone would be if they found out their co-worker was banging a minor (which is illegal). I think even Alfred wouldn't be that happy-go-lucky given the situation.
1AishaTakahasi1 Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Shhhh, calm your tits... don't be a Shizuo...
animegeek1235 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2015
Release the angry fangirl
EnglandXIII Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
if I got that question in a test or something, all the colour in my face would leave or I would become redder than Antonio's reddest tomatos.
Futaba Embarrassed Icon 
AshleynWoods Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Ehhhhhh......... Iggy? Dats a no no.
Gothfoxgirl Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015
Wow...that's kinda sad that I got the references
DawnMisty Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014
*cough* DOOWEEOOO! *cough* *cough*
KittyTheOtakuGirl Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
well... uhhhh.... That escalated a wee bit....
gab226789 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student Writer
DOCTOR WHO!!!!!! I'm actually going as 10 for Halloween~
KathrynPond Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
You went as him???? AWESOME :D
gab226789 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014  Student Writer
KathrynPond Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
:D :D :D
Jazzy-Jazzy-Woo-Woo Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"Silence fell when the question was asked"

rerete Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2015
Yes. Whovians forever.
whovians unite
Ray711 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
DOCTORWHODOCTORWHODOCTORWHO! "Silence fell when the question was asked."
*freaks out in fangirlism*
If I correctly remember, you did the same thing...
So, hah.
DivineChunky Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Well ALFRED.. 
You did that as well..
PizzaAngel495 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014
I'm dying right now! The Doctor Who references are too much!!! Awesome story!
EvilAngel3 Featured By Owner May 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"Silence fell when the question was asked"

animelover-8 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Damn reader-chan wtf
prettycheese21 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2014
I love these stories so much! Easily the best teacher x student series I've ever read
MetalGirlbuscus Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014
"Silence fell when the question was asked"
SirWilliamReynolds Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014
Goddammit... Doctor Who References...
dorkyhipster Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014  Student Writer
I wouldn't mind being Mr.Zwingli "best student" *wink*
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I wouldn't either man
dorkyhipster Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Student Writer
O God im having perverted thoughts *drooling* , his face looks so innocent but he acts so mature, sadly i cannt find any good Switzerland lemon :'(
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
...*sigh* I might have to cave and write one for him, because I understand that pain.
dorkyhipster Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Writer
Yes do one itwould be awesome if you do!!!
KylieZtv Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank god XD every time i read the lemons im like 
Did he ever used protection? XD
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hehehe I'm really bad about remembering to write in condoms...*rubs back of neck*
KylieZtv Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD lol
Cupcakeartist120 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014
This made me feel like such a Bad-a** XD
GamziiMakara Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Professional Writer
Ah, this gave me a good laugh.  Look at Alfred acting like an adult for once.  Bloody good for him!
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Contrary to popular belief, Al does know how to make good decisions
GamziiMakara Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Professional Writer
I find it amusing for him and Arthur to switch positions of responsibility for once.
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
GamziiMakara Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Professional Writer
ThatRandomGirl7819 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014
Silence fell when the question was asked..........

Was that supposed to be a Doctor Who reference? Because if it was, awesome. 
The story was hilarious, btw!!!
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes it was~~
Thank you!
ashley-tisdale-fan98 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
BEST COVER-UP TO TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT EVER!!!!! :iconbravoplz::iconimdeadplz:
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
FrancyKirkland Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Omg I love this so much! Lol .Do you think you could write a Germany x reader x Russia?
ImWiththeUnicorn Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I would if I was still in the Hetalia mindset but unfortunately I have so many other things to write.
FrancyKirkland Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Student General Artist
its fine i understandRussia icon 
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