“Hey, Art,” said Alfred, filling a Styrofoam cup with the cheap coffee for which the teacher’s lounge was infamous. “How ya doin’? Heard you weren’t feelin’ well this weekend.”
“Fine, actually,” the blond English teacher replied, lounging with his feet on one chair and his head resting tiredly on the back of another one. “Mostly tired.”
“Second period students wipe ya out?”
“Yes. The worst. Just holding out for the last period of the day, at this point.”
“I feel ya.” Alfred came over and yanked the chair out from under Arthur’s feet, spun it around and straddled the back of it, muscling through a drink of the acidic coffee. Arthur let off a disgruntled sigh and sat straight. “Tea again, I see.”
“Coffee again, I see,” Arthur mocked, taking a sip of his own drink.
“I can’t understand why you drink that stuff.”
“Me? You do realize you are the only one here who drinks the coffee.”
“Not true. Beilschmidt drinks it, too. Both of ‘em, actually.”
Arthur rolled his eyes, looking up at the clock. As he did so, the left side of his neck was bared to Alfred’s eyes. A light, reddish-purple blotch tarnished the Englishman’s pale skin, just above the crisp collar of his shirt.
“Um…Artie, what happened to your neck?”
“Right there,” said Alfred, prodding the bruise. Arthur yelped and clutched a hand over the mark, green eyes growing wide and frantic.
“I-I have no idea,” he stuttered. “Why would you poke it? Idiot!”
“Do not call me an idiot,” Alfred seethed.
“Sorry,” Arthur mumbled, cheeks turning pink. He rubbed the mark worriedly.
Suspicion glinted in Alfred’s eyes. “Arthur, do you have a girlfriend?”
“Dude, I know what a hickey looks like. Gave enough of ‘em when I was in high school, let me tell you what.”
“Hickey. Love bite. Come on, man, you’re such a virgin,” joked the honey blond. “I mean…unless you’re not anymore.”
Arthur’s cheeks flushed shades darker and he cast his eyes to the ground.
“Oh my god! You lost your virginity to this girl and you never even told me you were together? Who is it?” Alfred asked with bright curiosity, practically hugging the back of the seat he was in. “Oh my god, you’re not a virgin anymore. You guys, Arthur finally got laid!”
“Shhh-sh!” Arthur shushed, ducking his head from the interested stares of the other teachers. “None of your bloody business!”
Everyone else went back to their previous conversations, but Alfred kept at it. “Tell me who, tell me who, tell me who! Augh, I’m so glad you finally have a life…tell me what strange woman is dumb enough to bang you!”
“I resent that!”
“You’re dodging the question, who is it?”
“See, I said you’d be better before school tomorrow,” you purred, kissing his neck as he moaned wantonly, holding tightly to you.
“Yes, and I need to teach tomorrow, and it’s late, and I should take you home and get to bed.”
“No worries, I’ll just ‘go to school with my friend,’ my parents won’t mind.”
You nipped at his collarbone and he whimpered, half-heartedly pushing you away. “No, I mean I need sleep!”
“You’ll be sleeping like a baby when I’m done with you tonight.” Your teeth tugged on his ear lobe, breath skidding over his sensitive skin, and he let out a shaking whimper, head thudding against the wall in defeat.
“Right, fine, make it quick,” he said.
“Uh-huh, sure.” Your lips fell to his neck again and you started to suck, drawing escalating moans from his kiss-swollen lips. You parted your lips more, taking some skin between your teeth, and sucked harder.
“Ow!” He jerked his neck away and clapped a hand to the bite, where you could already see it discoloring. “It’s not visible, is it?”
“Come on, tell me! Do I know her?”
“Wha—I um.” He cleared his throat nervously. “You might. She’s, ah, she’s clever. And ah…nice…”
“Well what’s her name?”
“Hey, Mr. K,” you called from the door, casually walking in like you owned the place.
“What are you doing in here?” Mr. Jones questioned. “You’re a student.”
“Chill, Mr. Jones. Cam in for something warm to drink,” you explained, helping yourself. “If you think I’m gonna keep drinking this school’s spoiled excuse for milk when this is an option, you’re insane.”
“Well it isn’t an option,” Mr. Jones emphasized, giving the suddenly-tense Mr. Kirkland a meaningful look. “She do this often?”
“She-she’s…my uh, best student,” he explained. You bit back a giggle when his voice cracked. “You know how that is…not supposed to have a favorite but you do anyway, hah…”
“Is that so?”
Silence fell when the question was asked and you thought it best to get your ass out of there.
The clock ticked loudly and Arthur poked holes in the top of his cup, not daring to look at his coworker.
“Arthur, you cannot have an intimate relationship with a student,” he whispered harshly. “It is illegal, it is immoral, and you can go to jail—you fucked a student, Arthur! I can’t believe you would be so reckless. And you call me the idiot.”
“No one’s found out!”
“Well, yeah, except me! I’m not stupid and neither is anyone else. You’re just lucky I’m not Ludwig or Vash, because otherwise you’d be out of a job.”
“You’re not going to tell anyone.”
“No. I’m not. Because you are breaking up with her.”
Arthur sighed, conflicted. “She’s the best thing that’s happened to me in years, Alfred—“
“Oh my god! Just stop! If you don’t take care of this by tomorrow, I’ll—“
“You’ll what, snitch on me? Grow up, Alfred. I am a grown man—“
“And she’s a fucking minor!” He had to choke of into a whisper last-minute to avoid unwanted nosiness, just now realizing he had been raising his voice. “You’re fucking sick!”
“How is it sick if it’s consensual? Look, she came on to me--”
“Of course she did, Arthur. You’re young, you’re handsome, you’re smart; tons of students have a crush on you. But you do not act on it! You’re not supposed to acknowledge it!”
Arthur’s eyes begged Alfred to just leave him well-enough alone, and Alfred sighed. “Fine. Whatever, I’m not gonna tell anyone, but I’m not covering for you if someone else finds out. Keep her in line.”
“Easier said,” Arthur mumbled with a relieved slump of the shoulders.
There was a period of silence in which Arthur regarded the clock again. Five minutes until the next class.
“So I wouldn’t ask you the stupid question, but considering you’ve already proven yourself an idiot--”
“Please, Alfred, what is the ‘stupid question’?”
“You used protection, right?”
Arthur suddenly felt sick.
“Arthur I should fucking murder you.”
“S-she initiated—I was completely taken by surprise the first time, I assumed she-she had taken…necessary precautions…”
“Taken by surprise? What the hell does that even mean?” Alfred sighed in exasperation, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “You…are…so—“
“Don’t say it! Okay? Do not say it!”
“You do realize that if you got her pregnant I couldn’t cover for you even if I wanted, right?”
“Sh-she isn’t pregnant!”
“Make sure of it.”
You were a bit startled by the very blunt question on the back of your graded English test:
“You’d tell me if you were pregnant, right?”
You masked the sudden shock with a coughing fit. “Mr. Kirkland, can I talk to you about my uh…test?”
He came to your desk in an instant and you pointed at the red-penned question before flipping the paper. “Ah, yes…that. You…would say yes, correct?”
“Good. Right. And…uh…your answer to the follow-up question, of course, is…”
“Well, I’m not positive in my result, Mr. Kirkland,” you said, hoping he would get the message.
“Oh, well…good, you—you got it correct, so it seems there is no problem.”
He walked away flushed and relieved. You made a mental note to take more care in future escapades.